You don’t complain enough.
Why didn’t you curse out that driver? He just cut you off.
Money’s tight at the moment. Why aren’t you bitching about it?
You know who said those words?
No one that has their head screwed on right.
I can be insanely positive and optimistic even at the bleakest times. Kind of like a puppy on hallucinogens. It can be hard to see my positivity due to my British sarcasm but, I assure you, it’s there.
But, despite feeling super positive and super happy 90% of the time…
I still constantly commit the poisonous act known as complaining.
I’m having a great day today but in the last hour I’ve complained about…
- the smell of smoke in my apartment building (inconsiderate neighbours)
- how small the genkan in my apartment is (the little place in Japanese homes where you take off your shoes) and how it hurts my back to put my shoes on
- how damn humid it is in Tokyo right now (seriously, hotter than hell)
What effect did that bitching have on my situation?
The apartment building still smells of smoke, the genkan is still small, and Tokyo is still humid.
That bitching may not have affected my situation but it definitely affected my mindset. Even for just a second.
Complaining makes you feel icky. It makes you feel gross. Like a little goblin has crawled up inside of you and vomited on your soul.
Complaining also makes others around you feel bad. It makes them feel like you’ve just tossed a weight in their direction and yelled, ‘Catch! Think fast, motherfucker!’
This isn’t going to be a long post.
I’m just gonna tell you one, and only ONE, thing you can do to stop complaining and start loving your life.
Why just one?
Because I want you to take action and I know this method to stop complaining is effective.
We don’t need to read about many different things which you might not try. If you’re interested in the other things that have cut my complaining down by making me happier, you can check out these posts:
- Wim Hof Method Review (5 weeks in and life is great)
- The Best Supplement Stack For Writers
- 7 Lifestyle & Diet Hacks I Used To Stop My Stomach Problems
You also don’t need to read a bunch of stuff about why complaining is bad.
You already know complaining is bad.
You already know complaining does nothing to fix your situation.
You already know complaining is a dark force that needs to be destroyed (man, I’m really getting into this).
We will just focus on one super practical tip that you can implement today.
How To Stop Complaining
A couple of years back, I read the following book:
It’s a good book and it taught me how to stop complaining.
This is what you do…
Get a wristband.
Like the ones the charities give out. I got myself one of those breast cancer awareness wristbands.
If you don’t have a wristband, you could use something else that goes around your wrist. Or you could get a little token item (like a small pebble or something) and keep it in your pocket.
Every time you complain, you’re gonna move that wristband from one wrist to another.
If you’ve got a pebble or some other item, you will move it to a different pocket when you complain.
You are monitoring how much you complain because what gets measured gets managed.
Here’s the goal:
Keep that wristband on the same wrist for the next 30 days.
People who say, “I never complain” will be shocked to discover they complain A LOT!
I’ve done this experiment a few times in the past. So I know what to expect.
The first week is gonna be TOUGH.
You’re going to be switching the band from wrist to wrist constantly. Or it will feel like it.
After that, you’ll try super hard not to complain. You’ll be vigilant and you might even go a whole day without switching that band.
But then you’ll complain.
You’ll notice something stupid and meaningless leaving your lips (I’m hungry. I can’t wait another hour for dinner… Oops. Damn it.).
It will pain you. You’ll try to protest. You’ll try to reason with yourself. You’ll try to convince yourself it wasn’t a “real” complaint. But then you’ll eventually know you have to switch it.
I never did manage to do the full 30 days in a row.
I went 9 days.
Then I thought, “That’s good enough”.
Translation: Too hard. Wah-wah-waaaaaah.
But I did notice one very powerful affect from going 9 straight days without complaining
I had waaaaaay less negative thoughts.
Before the challenge, my head was crammed with worries and constant nagging complaints even if I didn’t verbalise them
But after going 9 straight days without actually voicing my complaints, I felt at peace. My head felt quiet. I was happy.
Language influences thought.
You can directly clean up your mind by censoring all the bullshit complaints that make up most of everyday common speech.
I went 9 days and felt the powerful affects. I should have gone 30 days!
I’m not gonna wimp out again.
Not this time!
No, sir. This time I’m gonna do the full 30 days in a row. Even if it takes the rest of the year. Even if it takes 10 years (it won’t). I’m gonna do it.
And YOU are going to join me.
P.S. I’m so crazily masochistic that I’m combining this complaint-free challenge with quitting caffeine. Ha ha! Take that, ME!