Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages is responsible for being the book that most positively changed my behaviour and interpersonal skills.
The biggest thing The Five Love Languages taught me is that there are lots of different ways to show love. Just because someone doesn’t use the words “I love you”, doesn’t mean they aren’t screaming it at you in another way that you’re missing.
According to the book, the 5 love languages are:
- Gift giving
- Physical touch
- Spending quality time
- Acts of service (devotions)
- Words of affirmation (e.g. “I love you”)
So your love language might be ‘words of affirmation’. You show your partner love by the words you use. As such, you expect him to use words. And when he doesn’t, you become upset (you’re speaking different languages).
But does he give you gifts often? Does he touch you a lot? Does he always initiate dates (spending time together)? Does he do things for you (like make you some food or give you a back rub)?
The Five Love Languages makes you realise you are surrounded by loved ones. It also teaches you how to show love to the people close to you in the “love language” they speak.
Here’s a sub 3-minute video in a series of super short “intro” type videos for the books that changed my life:
You can read The 5 Love Languages here.