What is happening to the brick-and-mortar bookstore? One moment we feel this breed of literary watering hole is on the verge of extinction. It looks to be pushed to the brink of death by big dick swinging online conglomerates. Then, just when we think our love is set to perish, those very same conglomerates bring the damn thing back in vogue.
I don’t know what the future of the bookstore looks like. I’m not sure how relevant they will be in ten years, let alone twenty when we’ll all take nourishment intravenously and have sex with robots. I do hope that they battle hard like vinyl stores who are still managing to prosper in an age of instant digital downloads. But I fear they might not.
If it does survive, I have a few things in mind for the perfect bookstore. This is the kind of store I’m going to build when I’m all super-duper rich and famous. Of course, if you’re already super-duper rich and famous and you love my template, feel free to steal it, implement it, and then give me a cushy 7-figure salary for turning up to annual board of advisors meetings.
The Perfect Bookstore
I’ve visited bookstores all over the world. I’ve seen the best of the best (many of which have since closed down) and I’ve seen the worst of the worst. But here are a few things the perfect bookstore would have.
The perfect bookstore will be simultaneously intimate and sprawling
Two of my favourite bookstores are on completely opposite ends of the size spectrum.
There is Shakespeare & Sons in Prague, which is quaint, intimate, charming.
Then there is Junkudo in Tokyo, which is massive, sprawling, and awe-inspiring.
But how can you get the best of both bookstore worlds?
I suggest the architects of the perfect bookstore watch the following video on repeat. The video’s about how to make an attractive city but the aesthetics can be equally applied to the perfect bookstore.
How to make the perfect bookstore simultaneously sprawling and intimate:
- The size, obviously, will be huge. In width and height. Ten floors, each one taking at least 2 minutes to traverse from end to end at casual walking pace.
- BUT…. There will be LOTS of nooks and crannies. Little coves and hideaways that you can stop and fall into along the way. Lots of little hiding places and spots to rest.
- The bookstore, despite having tons of little hiding spots, will have a very clear order and logic. You’ll find yourself subconsciously being swept along the aisles so you can see more and more of the books. Sure, you can get lost from time to time (that’s part of the charm) but it will never be too hard to find your way back to the main path.
The perfect bookstore will be crazily comfortable
I don’t get what happened.
When did bookstores suddenly stop putting out chairs?
I love browsing bookstores but you know what I hate? Sore legs. Standing with a stack of books and having to balance them or find some random table or floor space to put my findings while I open another book.
I have left bookstores because I’ve thought, ‘This is enough standing and walking for one day.’
The perfect bookstore would understand that the longer book lovers spend in the bookstore, the more books they will buy.
The perfect bookstore would have fuck-tons of the following ass-pleasuring equipment:
- Armchairs
- Beanbags
- Cushions
- Sofas
The perfect bookstore will have a rad “Staff Picks” section
I know most bookstores already have a “Staff Picks” section but most of them suck.
Most staff picks are thinly veiled paid-for advertisements. The publishers have paid good money to have their books face out and a little note saying it’s the bookstore’s personal pick-of-the-month. Um, suck it, Penguin, HarperCollins, and Simon & Schuster. I want a LEGIT “Staff Picks” section.
I’ve picked up a ton of great goodies browsing the staff picks section of bookstores (like this wonderful gem) but only when I trust the picks are legitimately handpicked by real live book lovers.
How do we know the books have actually been curated out of love and not money? Well usually you can tell because the staff picks ensemble as a whole is really weird…
There is no theme. It’s a mishmash of old and new, all different genres, spanning this beautiful globe of ours.
There are handwritten notes and names of staff members who you actually see walking around the store.
That’s what the perfect bookstore will have.
Authentic staff picks.
The perfect bookstore will have a PROPER foreign book section
The world is becoming multinational as hell. And bookstores need to start properly catering to that fact. That means stocking way more books in foreign languages.
I speak more than one language. I don’t always want an English book. But unless I’m prepared to pay exorbitant shipping rates from different countries, I can’t easily get my hands on the foreign books I want.
And I’m not the only one. If you’re from any big western city, talk to any taxi driver and chances are they speak about seven languages. But walk into one of those cities’ bookstores and do they have a proper all-in-Spanish or all-in-Chinese or all-in-Polish section?
Nah.
You’re lucky if you get some piddling translation of Harry Potter and some low grade grammar textbooks.
Not in the perfect bookstore.
The perfect bookstore will have tons of floorspace dedicated to the most spoken languages in that country.
On your travels through the perfect bookstore, you will come into contact with tons of foreign language books.
Want some manga actually in Japanese? Eat your damn heart out.
The perfect bookstore will have tons going on (and support local authors)
Talks.
Book signings.
Poetry readings.
Writing workshops.
There’s always something book-related going on in the perfect bookstore. It’s a wonderful place to escape whenever you need a break. It’s a wonderful place to take a date. It’s a wonderful place to take your kids.
No need to plan ahead. If you turn up, you can be sure there’s something fun and bookish going down.
And, of course, there would be a ton of authors hanging around the place.
The perfect bookstore understands that many authors are reclusive and scared of the light but the perfect bookstore also understands that they need to drag those authors out because it’s good for the community and it’s good for them if readers and authors mingle together.
The best bookstore experiences of my life always involved some great author-related event (e.g. Terry Pratchett book signing for The Wee Free Men). The perfect bookstore would recreate this magic on a daily basis.
The perfect bookstore has “genre havens”
I’m talking multiple floors and many floors are their own genre domain:
- Romance floor
- Fantasy floor
- Horror floor
The perfect bookstore understands that many avid readers are monogamous with one genre. And that’s totally cool. So we want you to escape to where you feel happiness and enjoy your genre’s oasis.
The perfect bookstore gives you discounts on ebooks and audiobooks
Why do readers have to pay full price for a book if they’ve already purchased that book in some other capacity?
The perfect bookstore will have deals with all the publishers that mean if you purchase a physical copy of a book, you can also get the ebook for a reduced price. Forget paying $20 for a book, then shelling out another $8 for the ebook. The ebook should come as part of the deal. Either it’s free or as close to free as possible. Same deal with audiobooks (though there are more understandable costs associated with production than ebooks).
The perfect bookstore will have a book trade-in section
There’s this great bookstore in Japan called Book-Off.
You bring your old books in and you either get cash or store credit so you can peruse some of the other second hand books in the shop.
You save a ton of money and, aside from one or two smelling a bit smokey, they’re all in basically mint condition.
The perfect bookstore realises that most book lovers don’t want to go to separate stores for new and second-hand goods.
Why not put them in the same store?
And if you trade a bunch of books in, you can either get some cash or you can get some points that you can use on other second hand books or, if you save enough points, on the new ones too.
The perfect bookstore will be open 24/7
Bring your sleeping bags and some torchlights because the perfect bookstore is open at midnight and we eat snacks and read books and have a gay old time.
Up super early because insomnia is sabotaging your mental health again? Not to worry. Pop down to the perfect bookstore and find something soothing to remedy the anguish.
The amount of times I was up at some ungodly hour and I just wished there was somewhere to go. The perfect bookstore is that place.
The perfect bookstore is filled with knowledgeable staff who size you up
I remember this one time in Thailand when I wanted to buy underwear in a department store.
This lovely sales boy came up to me, eyed my genitalia-region, and immediately knew my size.
He then led me to the best underwear for me and insisted he watch me try them on.
I declined.
He then spent the next 20 seconds humping my leg.
And I thought… why can’t bookstores have this level of service??!
Well, not the exact same service, obviously…
But how about staff members who can size you up, check your body language, and clothing, spend a few minutes talking to you and immediately know the perfect book to suit your character, mood, and stage in life?
The perfect bookstore would employ these book geniuses.
The perfect bookstore would have the perfect drinks
It’s a scientific, verifiable fact that all book lovers are also world-class tea connoisseurs.
So why is it that no bookstore properly caters to their clientele?
Sure, there’s a Starbucks crammed into the corner of many bookstores and it exists to fleece the customers of ten to twenty bucks better spent on books.
But how about an inexpensive, high quality tea shop that’s filled floor to ceiling with sencha, lapsang souchong, and yerba mate?
The perfect bookstore is that place.
The perfect bookstore has me and you
Sure, the perfect bookstore may not exist outside of my head just yet. But there are tons of bookstores that are filled with magic and wonder near you right now.
We don’t want these palaces of awe to perish in 20, 30, or 100 years. So we need to delay our digital downloads for one day and take a trip to these bookstores.
Spend an hour or two time browsing the shelves, support these bookstores with your business, bring a date or your kid or your best friend or just come by yourself. And leave with a stack of gems and a mile-wide smile.