Weight Loss Tips You Should Ignore (Unless You Wanna Stay Fat)

Take it from this former fat tub of lard:

There’s a right way to lose weight.

And there’s a wrong way.

Most mainstream advice on losing weight is the wrong way.

The problem is a blind-leading-the-blind situation.

So stop taking advice from fatsos hiding behind the keyboards, disregard “personal trainers” who don’t look the way you want to look, and pay attention to what people who are in shape without killing themselves have to say.

Here is all the unhealthy shit people told me when I wanted to lose weight, which just resulted in me spinning my wheels, and even gaining more weight.

Follow this “advice” at your peril.

“Long steady-state cardio sucks for weight loss”

The fitness bros went full circle.

Steady-state cardio (30+ minutes) used to be the go-to weight loss method.

Then the super cutting edge, super legit, fake natty fitness gurus decided to dump all over it.

Nah, bro. It’s all about HIIT, bro. Intensity!

It’s true that you’ll often see the same overweight people doing hours of cardio every day in the gym for years. They never seem to shift any weight yet they are always running, biking, or sweating on the elliptical machine.

But I’d venture to say their lack of success is for two reasons:

1. They’re not hitting 60-80% of their heart rate max for fat burning
2. They’re eating more calories than they burn 

If THAT’S how you’re doing steady-state cardio, of course you’re not going to lose any weight.

If you insist on working out like that, let me make a suggestion for what to replace that shitty cardio with:

• 1 minute of hard sprinting 
• 1 minute walking
• Repeat 5-10 times

Then, after you’ve done that for 10-20 minutes, you can do your steady-state and you’ll be able to immediately dip into your fat stores, whilst continuing to burn fat and benefit from elevated metabolism for the next 24 hours.

But, ideally, you’ll be doing steady-state cardio that challenges you.

Adopt a marathon-training-style cardio routine, pair that with weightlifting 3x per week, and throw the occasional sprints and yoga in their and you will look like fire.

I know bros are scared that marathon training will turn their arms into noodles, but take it from a formerly scared bro that this isn’t the case.

Marathon training + weights = best shape of your life.

Try it for 3 months before arguing with me.

“It’s all about calories in/calories out”

Weight loss is a mostly down to eating less calories then you burn.

But fat loss requires quality calories.

Sure, if you want to just “lose weight” and don’t care where that weight comes from (e.g. muscle) then consider your diet a matter of dipping under your maintenance calories and consider candy bars and ice cream fair game.

If you want to lose fat and preserve muscle – body recomposition – you’ll want a diet comprised of:

• healthy vegetables
• lean protein
• healthy fats
• quality carbs

Just eat candy bars under your maintenance and you’ll look like a deflated Jabba the Hut.

“This one food/exercise/supplement/magic bean will make you lose X lbs of fat overnight!”

I’m almost leaning towards saying that if you take your advice from clickbait websites you don’t deserve to lose fat.

But I’m feeling a little charitable.

There’s a lot of convincing snake oil and charlatan marketing in the health and fitness world.

Which is understandable. There’s a lot of money to be made targeting people’s insecurities (e.g. how they look) or when it comes to people trying to feel healthier.

A lot of these websites will straight up steal pictures of Dr. Oz and claim that ketone berries or some other bullshit will solve all your belly fat woes overnight, or this strap that vibrates your lower abs will blitz away that stubborn tummy padding.

There is no “one secret food” that health experts and doctors don’t want you to know.

There aren’t any shortcuts when it comes to fitness I’m afraid.

If you think you can get in great shape in just 8 weeks, it will likely take you over a year. 

I got into great shape rapidly, dropping 50lbs over 3 months. But two problems:

1. I did it very unhealthily. Basically a starvation diet and tons of exercise (that does, unfortunately, work quite well if you don’t mind losing a bit of muscle).
2. I still had lose skin and it would take another 3-6 months before I really grew into my new body.

Yes, there are foods that have tons of antioxidants, and there are exercises that will result in a huge boost in growth hormone, but there’s still no magic hacks.

Unless you call the following a magic hack:

• Heavy deadlifts and squats, super-setted with pull-ups and pushups
• Long strenuous cardio come rain or shine, heat or cold
• Saying no to deserts and alcohol more than you say yes

Supplements can help, but you really need your diet and exercise dialled in first.

Once you’ve got the fundamentals handled, the following supplements will add a 5-10% boost:

• Fish oil supplement
• Pre-workout formula
• Magnesium before bed

“Eat low-carb/low-fat/low-X to lose weight”

Low-carb is great for losing weight.

But people treat low-carb and paleo like holy gospel.

It’s ideal for a lot of people. Especially those with gluten intolerance, inflammation, IBS, lactose intolerance (I check these boxes).

But it’s less than ideal for a lot of people too. Especially athletes who clock a lot of miles on the track. Michael Phelps survives long hours in pool on tens of thousands of sugar calories. He’s lean as hell because all of that’s going into fuel.

If you’re mostly sedentary (which, barring disabilities, you shouldn’t be), then a low-carb diet can work well.

You’ll even see your abs popping through without doing a single crunch if you follow it strictly (rare).

Low-carb is all the rage now, but low-fat used to be the target.

You can still see “diet” foods proclaim “Low Fat!”

There’s nothing wrong with healthy fats. A lot of the problems that come from fats actually comes from saturated fats in conjunction with simple sugars (think Krispy Kreme doughnuts).

Healthy fats are found in:

• fish (like salmon, tuna) which you should eat 3x/week minimum
• eggs (also high in choline, which is good for your brain)
• nuts (my favourites are walnuts, peanuts, Brazil nuts)

Fat is the essential macronutrient when it comes to testosterone too.

Go low-fat as a dude and you’ll see something else droop.

The rare occasion in which you might want to consider low-fat is as a bodybuilder getting close to competition time, and even then you’ll probably be running exogenous testosterone to combat the drop, whilst still suffering the ill-effects of low T to boot: irritability, brain fog, depression.

The takeaway message here is that you’re unique.

Find what works for your body.

The same goes for exercise too. There isn’t one special magic exercise and you can’t target an area (e.g. sit-ups don’t blitz belly fat). If a guru recommends upright rows, but they hurt your wrists and shoulders, don’t do them! 

Listen to your body.

Intuitive eating is a whole topic in itself, so maybe we’ll talk about that another time.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day”

I personally lost the most weight, and highest quality of weight loss (body recomposition and muscle gain), when I was following an intermittent fasting schedule.

Basically I skipped breakfast, sometimes skipped lunch, and would start eating anywhere from midday to around 4pm.

You can have a lean body, abs, veins, and feel great whilst having tons of wiggle room in your diet when you fast every day.

I can eat a tub of ice cream every single night if I want to. As long as I follow intermittent fasting and keep working out, my abs stay poking through.

Intermittent fasting is also great from a cognitive point of view. It helps you focus and even keeps inflammation down.

Yes, breakfast can be the most important meal of the day. But your body might actually prefer a fast. Most people don’t know until they give it a trial-run.

Don’t knock it until you try it. It could be the best thing you ever do for your body and sense of well-being.

“Juice cleanses will shed the pounds right off!”

Rich assholes like to book themselves into expensive clinics where they’re forced to only drink juice, soup, and gruel for a week or two.

Then they come back 20 pounds lighter.

Sorry, but you’ve just lost water weight from diarrhoea and muscle from not taking on adequate protein and making your body cannibalise itself.

You’ll yo-yo gain the weight back, plus some, and you’re weak to boot.

Juices are great for detoxing and cleansing, but as part of an overall healthy diet.

You still want to eat good foods and not cut your calories too low, then throw a green smoothie on top.

Don’t just replace your entire diet with juice. It’s not healthy or sustainable.

Did you find this article valuable?

If you did, you’ll probably enjoy my upcoming course:

How to Hack Your Academic Performance Through Diet and Exercise.

I’ve brought on an accredited physiotherapist to talk us through the best holistic diet and workout programs for cerebral performance, staying lean, and gaining muscle.

Sign up to my newsletter and I’ll let you know when the course drops.

You’ll get my Study Hacks ebook for free as a thank you upon signup and I send out emails every week or so on books and other academic stuff.